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[ 8 posts ] |
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3.56% of Domestic Violence Cases Referred to CPS
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Lex
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:54 am Posts: 13972 Location: Stratford
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| Tue Mar 11, 2014 8:40 am |
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rebbonk
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What rattles me is that domestic violence is usually seen as a crime against women. I've seen plenty of guys (and quite big ones at that) who were the victims.
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| Tue Mar 11, 2014 9:57 am |
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Margaret
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It seems this report is very one sided. These women know what they are letting themselves into with a fella they have married or living with, if women have know a man for four or five years then she ought to know if he has issues with aggression, drink or violence. We have to look at the underlying causes of violence in the home, some fellas can be control freaks and so can women.I think the main causes are financial problems, or alcohol related. It could be the woman who is causing her partner to become aggressive and abusive because she is spending too much money, or flirting around, or expecting too much from her partner, whinging at him all the time making him feel inadequate. We can't just make the blokes look like the baddies, as this report does.
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| Tue Mar 11, 2014 10:00 am |
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Gladys
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:58 pm Posts: 2371
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DV is about control and in that there is a victim and a perpetrator. It is done to both Women and Men as both Rebbonk and Margaret point out. It is a very complex issue and never straight forward. Why do you choose a certain person as your ' mate ' ? Again, another complex matter. Often its because they remind you (usually subconsciously ) of significant Family like a Father or a Mother etc. Once the intertwining of two people is begun with the addition of children it becomes even more complex and often abusive behaviours are under way. I don't believe it as clear cut as you say, Margaret. I don't think the victims in these type of relationships actually do know what they are getting into. They have a vulnerable self which a perpetrator is able to see and thus feed the need to control from. With out being able to control, they in turn feel vulnerable and so the cycle continues. The number of police officers who are also controlling in their personal lives may hold a clue as to why cases may not be taken seriously enough. Control is something we all need to feel we have to manage ourselves in life but it is about the level of control and its effects on others and the reasoning that counts for normal control.
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| Tue Mar 11, 2014 12:04 pm |
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Margaret
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Agreed, all very important factors Gladys, and yes good point about the vulnerable. I'm no psychologist, but I'm not sure I necessarily agree with women choosing a mate with similar traits perhaps to their father of mother, very complex area I know, but interesting. I certainly didn't choose a mate like my father for reason I shan't divulge here.
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| Tue Mar 11, 2014 1:38 pm |
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Gladys
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:58 pm Posts: 2371
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This is a known fact in development and is very complex. A significant carer does have influence in a child's development by way of the role model. Margaret, I am not wishing to invade your particular privacy but sometimes a significant carer's influence may be negative and again for reasons that are not clear cut, a child under that influence can go on to use learned negative behaviours as he or she doesn't recognise them as negative. However and conversely, he or she may recognise a more positive behaviour and thus avoids the negative role model in making better choices. You have to be aware and awareness is about learning what is helpful and what is not. Perhaps people stay in an abusive situation because often, its also about sticking with what you know because stepping outside of the box is unknown territory- a bit like ' better the devil you know ' to put it simply. There's so much more to this as well. I am no authority but I do have a degree in Psychology and for part of that I studied Child Development. I have also undertaken some work in Psychotherapy and have been part of a team Safeguarding children and vulnerable adults. It is a problem that has no boundaries and is no respecter of race, creed or social status.
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| Tue Mar 11, 2014 2:02 pm |
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Lex
Pillar of the Community
Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:54 am Posts: 13972 Location: Stratford
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| Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:48 pm |
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rebbonk
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115k is not really a lot of money.
Is prosecution really the answer?
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| Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:59 pm |
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