Pug or a loaf of bread?

An economist, a physicist, and a mathematician were on a train heading north, and had just crossed the border into Scotland.

The economist looked out of the window and said "Look! Scottish sheep are black!"
The physicist said, "No, no. Some Scottish sheep are black."
The mathematician looked irritated. "There is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, of which at least one side is black."

A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your dad or mum home?" said the farmer.

"No, they went to town" said the boy.

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.

"No, he went with Mum and Dad" the boy answered.

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message" said the boy.

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.

It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment...


"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges £500 for the bull and £50 for the boar, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O

Very clever

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.