Her: We have ants in the garden shed, thousands of them.

Me: (trying to read the paper) When you are at the garden centre today, pick up a tube of Nippon ant killer. It's a powder that you sprinkle on the ants and on the surrounding infestation. Sends 'em mental and they take the stuff back to the nest where the stuff causes mayhem....and they die. Great stuff.

Her: (Later). Garden centre said they don't sell it and it's probably very dangerous and therefore illegal. They got quite shirty.

Me: Did you tell 'em what it was for ?

Her: No, I couldn't find it anywhere on the shelves so I asked the manager if they sold napalm.